I Need You Now

Last night Aiden was pulling on my heart strings so I let him lay in bed with me till he fell asleep.  he asked, "Miss Annika, why does Ben like to lay in your bed?"  I said, "Because he misses his Daddy and doesn't want to be alone.  Why do you like to lay with your Mommy?"  He replied slowly as he gazed down, "Because I miss my Daddy and don't want to be alone."  I shook my head to show him that I understood and left to tell Sara.  The next was a hard day.  Vincent challenged me on everything today.  I had asked him to put his dishes in the sink.  His reply was,"No You."  I heard a voice yelling across the room later that day, it was again my Vinny.  "Hey you! Hey You!"  I turned to relize he was speaking to me.  All day he was in and out of time out for speaking to me this way.  If you know Vinny, this is not his usual self.  He is always kind,  understanding, and patient.  It broke my heart to see him so defiant, and I knew he was full of emotions he didn't understand.  He screamed for Daddy each time he was disaplined.  My heart was heavy when I saw the anger in his eyes turn to tears and sadness.  Benjamin would echo Daddy and would walk around carrying his blanket searching for Daddy.  He finally gave up and sat on the couch to cry.  At bed time we usually read a book, I Love You Through and Through.  Not tonight.  As I put them to bed they fought.  They threw their arms and cried on the floor.  I held them till they were calm.  I told them how much I love them and that we would wake up tomorrow and maybe God would take away our aches for the day.  As I left their room I could no longer hold back my tears.  I knew that Matt was already asleep and had another early day ahead of him, but I had to.  I called him....just to cry...just to hear his voice.  He let me cry, till my cry became a sob, and then he spoke softly,"Baby, it's ok, you can do this, you a wonderful mom."  He said it stern enough that I found strength.  I dried my tears,"I love you, sweet dreams." and I hung up the phone.  I sleep with the radio pn to distract me from the silence of night and heard a song that was so fitting.  So I wrote this so you could hear the song and know how I related to it.  Enjoy.