Sunday, November 14, 2010

Housewife to Handyman

     I had piles upon piles of laundry that had to be handled.  I started a load right before bed on Friday night.  Maci woke me for a bottle at a little after 5am.  I headed downstairs and figured while the water was warming I could switch over a load.  When I opened the the wash there was still water in it.  I thought it weird and restarted the cycle and headed back to bed.  I then got up again at 6am to shower and start my day before the boys.  Not waking before them can throw of an entire day.  I ran back ddownstairs to do some more laundry but still the wash was left with water.  At this point I knew we had a problem, but avoided it for the time being and got readt for Ikea.  After a long day at Ikea and a crazy ride home (I had to keep pulling over to put the boys in time out for throwing rasins at me while I was driving, never again will I bring raisins), we were back.

     It was time to start on the washer.  It's just Sara and I so we knew we would have to figure this out.  Sara jumped onto Google to get step by step instructions to fix this thing.  At one point we were stuck so I gave my Dad a call.  My Mom awnsered and Dad wasn't available.  She said, "You might need to just get a repair man."  We're military wives.  We don't have the money or the time to get a repair man.  That's one of our many jobs.  i grabed a screw driver and went to town after getting to the draining pump I could feel a sock clogging it.  What luck!  I've been searching for the match to this sock for quite some time!  I got the tube apart and the sock free.  It was all put back together and time to get on this laundry.  We trew in a load and went about my business.  I was standing at the kitchen table packing when I realized, "I'm wearing boot, so why are my feet wet?"  The kitchen had flooded with an inch of water.

     Emergency!!!!  I ran and unplugged the washer turned on the steam vac to start sucking up water.  Sara grabbed every towel in the house and a comforter to soak up the water.  Now on top of the public pool being in the house we had even more laundry to do!  I realized that I could fix the problem but didn't have near enough strength to get the metal collar back onto the tube.  So we looked for a friendly neighbor to help but to no avail.  So we got the kids out of the swimming pool and put them to bed.  Sara and I were at a loss as to what to do.  There was no way to get the clothes done, the kitchen was dry again, and the kids were sleeping.  There was nothing left to do but open a bottle of wine.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

An Article on Military etiquette for The Spouse

Do’s and don’ts while in uniform
by Whitney Bailey


The military service etiquette we abide by today is steeped in several hundred years of U.S. history.  Many rules change over time as the military updates codes of conduct to reflect new attitudes and etiquette.  However, some traditions still exist that may seem a bit antiquated (or even unfair) to you, the spouse.
When reviewing the list below, keep in mind that maintenance of these rules allows service members to project professionalism.  These rules apply to your service member anytime he is in uniform, but many also apply to you when you are you attending a military function or in public with your uniformed hubby.

Do:
Walk on your husband’s left side so he can salute others.

Refer to your spouse by his first name or nickname, or as “my husband.”  Do not refer to your husband as “Capt. Smith” or “the Captain.”

Stand at a public function or ceremony when the senior officer enters and is announced.   This applies to everyone in attendance.

Offer your husband an umbrella in the rain, but only if it’s black. He’s not allowed to carry any other color.
Push the baby carriage or stroller so your spouse doesn’t have to.  It’s considered “unmilitary” to do so while in uniform.

Help your spouse carry any packages or bundles to make it easier for him to salute.  (Are you wondering if a man made up these rules so that wives would have to do all the heavy lifting?)

Don’t:
Show public displays of affection, except at homecomings and goodbyes.  This includes kissing and holding hands.  You can wrap your arm around his bent elbow.  This is proper.

Offer your spouse a piece of gum.  It is not “military” for him to chew it.  The same goes for smoking while in uniform.

Allow him to put his hands in his pockets unless he is placing or retrieving an item.

Refer to your husband’s orders as “our orders” unless you are a service member yourself.
Offer him food or drink while he’s walking.  He should not be eating, drinking or using a cell phone while walking in uniform.

Refer to others in the service as “sir” or “ma’am,” even if your spouse does.  Refer to them by their rank and last name (“Capt. Smith”).

Allow your child to wear your spouse’s uniform for Halloween.  Uniforms bearing insignia, badges and tabs should be worn only by authorized personnel.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Silent Ranks

Unknown Author


I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens.
But I am in the military in the ranks rarely seen.
I have no rank upon my shoulders, salutes I do not give.
But the military world is the place where I live.

I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get.
But my husband is the one who does, this I cannot forget.
I'm not the one who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line.
But my job is just as tough. I'm the one that's left behind.

My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man,
And the call to serve his country, not all can understand.
Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free.
My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me.

I love the man I married. Patriotism is his life.
But I stand among the silent ranks known as the military wife.

I found this poem and a new project came to mind.  I'm going to start some research (in my spare time that is) and put together and tribute to military wives...lots of work to get started.  Look forward to the tribute....

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

...His Military Wife by Lisa Mullen

  A friend and fellow military wife wrote this.  When I read this, I fell in love with the piece.  The purpose of this blog is to help others relate to this life we've chosen to live.  This writting in yet another great insight to our world.  Thanks Lisa for sharing this I love it and I'm sure others will as well!


...His Military Wife                                                                                               by Lisa Mullen
A military wife is mostly girl. But there are times, such as when her husband is away and she is mowing the lawn or fixing a youngster's bike, that she begins to suspect she is also boy.

She has babies all over the world and measures time in terms of places as other women do in years. "It was in New York that the children had the chicken pox...In was in Texas, Paul was promoted..."

At least one of her babies was born or a transfer was accomplished while she was alone. This causes her to suspect a secret pact between her husband and the military providing for a man to be overseas or on temporary duty at times such as these.

A military wife is international. She may be a Kansas farm girl, a French mademoiselle, a Japanese doll, or a German fraulein. When discussing service problems, they all speak the same language.

She can be a great actress. To heartbroken children at PCS time, she gives an Academy Award performance: "New Mexico is going to be such fun! I hear they have Indian reservations...and tarantulas...and rattlesnakes." But her heart is breaking with theirs. She wonders if this is worth the sacrifice.

An ideal military wife has the patience of an angel, the flexibility of putty, the wisdom of a scholar and
the stamina of a horse. If she dislikes money, it helps. She is sentimental, carrying her memories with her in an old footlocker.

One might say she is a bigamist, sharing her husband with a demanding entity called "duty." When duty calls, she becomes No. 2 wife. Until she accepts this fact, her life can be miserable.

She is above all a woman who married a man who offered her the permanency of a gypsy, the miseries of loneliness, the frustration of conformity and the security of love.

Sitting among her packing boxes with squabbling children nearby, she is sometimes willing to chuck it all in until she hears the firm step and cheerful voice of the lug who gave her all this. Then she is happy to be...his military wife

Monday, November 1, 2010

All Hallows Eve

     Trick or treating went great last night!  The kids costumes came out wonderful if I might toot my own horn.  I think I want to make their costumes everyyear now, it will be a new tradition!  The boys were absolutely wonderful to eachother!  Ben and Maci went up for the Mall costume contest.  Vincent and Aiden entered in their age group.  All of the crayons won second place.  Maci and Ben lost to a lady bug that wasn't to lady like.  She was digging in her nose right before she got on the stage.  Aiden and Vincent lost to a little girl dresses as Bo Peep.  It wasn't to impresive until her little sister jumped up behind her a the sheep....so cute...it was hard to deny that one!  The kids had ate all of their candy before we even left. They were hyped up and ready to run around the neighborhood collecting candy.

     So while we we're walkin from door to door little Ben was getting so tired.  I asked if he was tired and he shook his head yes, but wouldn't let me hold him.  How dare I even metion carrying his candy bucket for him, he was determined to be a big boy.  He would run behind the older boys trying to keep up.  Vincen and Aiden were really good at helping Ben believe he was part of their clan.  They would walk slow and stop often giving him a chance to tag along.  They would hold his hand and help him up stairs. 

     They reached a house that had quite the stairwell to conquer.  The boys waited at the top for Ben before ringing the doorbell.  By the time he made it the porch was filled with children.  The door opened and all of the crayons waited towards the back knowing that Ben could easily be knocked over.  Finally it was the boys turn.  They held out their buckets and said,"Trick or Treat."  Ben stood struggling to keep his heavy bucket held out in front of him.  Candy was given to Aiden and then Vincent.  The door was then shut, leaving Ben still holding his bucket wondering why he was left without.  He had said "trick or treat" and "Thanks you." yet still nothing.  Well Aiden wasn't going to let that fly.  They 3 stayed on the porch as Aiden rang the doorbell again.  The door opened, Aiden said very stern like,"Ben needs candy to!"  The person shoved candy in Aiden's hand and then threw more in Vincent's bucket, but once again skipped Ben, and slamed the door shut.  Aiden shrugged his shoulders and the boys started down the stairs defeated.  As they reached the last stair Aiden threw his candy from his hand into Ben's bucket and said,"They you go Ben."  It was so cute and I felt for Ben he had worked so hard to get to that door, but Aiden was so wonderful about it.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

I Need You Now


Last night Aiden was pulling on my heart strings so I let him lay in bed with me till he fell asleep.  he asked, "Miss Annika, why does Ben like to lay in your bed?"  I said, "Because he misses his Daddy and doesn't want to be alone.  Why do you like to lay with your Mommy?"  He replied slowly as he gazed down, "Because I miss my Daddy and don't want to be alone."  I shook my head to show him that I understood and left to tell Sara.  The next was a hard day.  Vincent challenged me on everything today.  I had asked him to put his dishes in the sink.  His reply was,"No You."  I heard a voice yelling across the room later that day, it was again my Vinny.  "Hey you! Hey You!"  I turned to relize he was speaking to me.  All day he was in and out of time out for speaking to me this way.  If you know Vinny, this is not his usual self.  He is always kind,  understanding, and patient.  It broke my heart to see him so defiant, and I knew he was full of emotions he didn't understand.  He screamed for Daddy each time he was disaplined.  My heart was heavy when I saw the anger in his eyes turn to tears and sadness.  Benjamin would echo Daddy and would walk around carrying his blanket searching for Daddy.  He finally gave up and sat on the couch to cry.  At bed time we usually read a book, I Love You Through and Through.  Not tonight.  As I put them to bed they fought.  They threw their arms and cried on the floor.  I held them till they were calm.  I told them how much I love them and that we would wake up tomorrow and maybe God would take away our aches for the day.  As I left their room I could no longer hold back my tears.  I knew that Matt was already asleep and had another early day ahead of him, but I had to.  I called him....just to cry...just to hear his voice.  He let me cry, till my cry became a sob, and then he spoke softly,"Baby, it's ok, you can do this, you a wonderful mom."  He said it stern enough that I found strength.  I dried my tears,"I love you, sweet dreams." and I hung up the phone.  I sleep with the radio pn to distract me from the silence of night and heard a song that was so fitting.  So I wrote this so you could hear the song and know how I related to it.  Enjoy.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Keeping Our Spirits High and Our Pants Low


        Each day brings news of changing plans. We now have 72 hours left before saying goodbye to Matt, but won't even see him again till tomorrow night. Our time together will consist of the kids and I tagging along to his briefings and waiting in the van since he has appointments up until the moment he leaves. The good news...it will keep our minds busy keeping up with such a schedule. The bad news...the time will go by so much faster this way. To be honest I'm really numb about it right now because I know if I let myself feel, the emotions will be overwhelming and we don't have the time for that right now. It's always the same...I'm sure most military wives will agree....You keep the emotion down and the smile in place (put on a brave face) till the moment you are separated. Then as you realize that you're gazing at each other for the last time in what feels like forever the tears can not be held back. The children are crying all around for their fathers the wives are holding their babies tighter than ever since it's their tie to their Airman. Everyone is sobbing, we give each other our privacy to grieve and then embrace each other...We know our journey has finally begun. We are now alone at night, in a place not called home, surrounded by strangers that have to become family. In that instant we are single mothers and don't go a night without worrying...about our husbands and about how our children are hurting and have no idea how, why, or when it will be over. I'm know this all to well now with 2 deployments down, 1 about to begin, and at least 2 more to go (that's if he gets out in 5 years if not we have at least 6 more to go). I will be strong for you Matt and for our children because you have no choice but to be strong for us and I know you have it worse. My heart will ache every moment of everyday, but I will suffer with a smile because you are so strong and brave for what you do that you deserve someone to lean on.


After all of that, hopefully this will make you smile....
        Sara and I are chatting away in the car about this place back home called New Town. The conversation continued to roll as we got the kids out and organized. Each time we go anywhere Maci is in her car seat and then put into the shopping cart. The boys are instructed to hold hands. Ben on the end, since he's the smallest and lags behind a bit. Aiden in the middle, because he hates to hold my hand, and Vince holding my hand, well because he's a Momma's boy. Sara was carrying Maci. I had all the boys in order. All was well as we headed towards The Wal-Mart entrance. Vincent keeps repeating something to me, but I'm so deep in conversation it's hard to tune into what he's saying. If you've spent much time with a 3 year old, they often repeat things for no apparent reason, thus you might become complacent. Each time Vince yanks on my hand he mumbles something about his pants. I respond, "Yes, your pants Vince." and continue my conversation. Then he does it again, "Yes, you have nice pants." I respond quickly again. This dance continues across the entire parking lot until I notice people starring and laughing. If you know me very well at all I was getting ready to say something to the onlookers when Vincent says very sternly, "MA! My Pants MA!" I finally stop at the door, look down,  Sara and I burst into laughter. The kind that makes you cry. This whole time I had been dragging him around, oblivious to the fact that Vince's pants had fallen to his ankles and was waddling like a penguin trying to keep up and all of the world was there to witness it!

Friday, September 24, 2010

The Intro

      Since I can remember I've been keeping journals.  As life got busier the entry's became less frequent.  I've been searching for a way to get back involved, especially since my kids give me plenty to write about.  My husband ask questions all the time about his childhood and everyone always responds," I don't Matt, that was __ years ago."   I love listening to all the mischief that my mom and her brother got into as a child and could listen to those stories over and over again.  So this is my way of keeping in touch.  In touch with the beginning of my children's lives and  my adventure into motherhood. 

      So, I wish that I would've started this when my oldest was first born since there are so many stories between then and now.  "There's no time like the present."  I'll start this first blog with a rundown of life as I know it.  It should be easier to follow if you have the background information.....

      Matt (my husband) and I met at Shaw AFB SC.  After a few months of dating we knew it was meant to be.  We found out we were expecting a "love child"  so we rushed to the alter.  Five years later we're so glad that we did!  The first baby was a miscarriage and we quickly realized how badly we really wanted a family together, planned well or not.   After Matt returned from a 7 months deployment to Kuwait we wasted no time.  Vincent Michael was born on December 30th , 2006.  Vincent is reserved, soft spoken, and a gentle soul.  We bought a house and Matt left for Iraq.  Two days into his deployment we learned that the family would be growing shortly.  Matt returned and a few weeks later (December 5th, 2008) Benjamin James entered the world.  My little Benji, you can see the wheels turning when you look into his eyes, he searched high and low for an adventure.  He's rough, tough, and all boy.  He was born with a stork bite on his forehead that resembles a permanent bruise.  God must've thought he could save himself some time that way.  Matt went from being a "straight leg"  to a K-9 handler.  From this he received orders to Washington.  Right away we decided the family was complete and it was time for permanent birth control.  He had a vasectomy.  The doctors since have told me that they see at least 4 women a season that are surprised after the procedure.  We had our daughter, Maci Lynn on June 15th 2010.  NOW our family is complete. 

      Matt now has orders to Afghanistan and will leave in just a few days.  We dread this day, but it's part off the job.  I remember the very first deployment, it was lonely and hard, but I didn't have the pain of seeing my children urn for their father.  The second deployment was harder with Vincent at my side and Ben in my belly, but there was no questions yet.  Vincent's now old enough to understand which makes it harder to cope.  I'm so glad to have them through all this because each of them is so much like their father it's like keeping him close to me.  I'm not sure how it's going to be raising the kids alone, but I'm up for the challenge.